the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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