I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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