Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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