he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
