Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize