Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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