it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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