put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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