well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
