Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Bring me that man meat
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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