I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
