I wanna bring you to show and tell
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
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