I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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