I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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