You work out of a Hotel?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
