I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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