For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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