I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
