home. puking in laundry basket.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
