Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
