i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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