this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
