I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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