i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
