I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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