Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
