I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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