he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
