Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
