"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize