operation harelip BJ is a go
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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