I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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