You can't motorboat a personality
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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