would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
