Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
