I think I died a long time ago.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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