This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
