but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize