Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
it glows. i had to have it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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