are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
