I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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