i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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