i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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