hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
