the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize