she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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