I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize