Kiss
Puke
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
