margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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