Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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