Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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