so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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