There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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