I bet he comes in French.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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