The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
