I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize